you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize