Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
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You threw up with your ski mask on still.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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