Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
