i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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