Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.