I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.