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• (830): View more from Texas

  If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice

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• (415): View more from California

  Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"

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• (207): View more from Maine

  we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?

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  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?

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• (425): View more from Washington

  we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister

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  19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (701): View more from North Dakota

  Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?

  (256): View more from Alabama

  absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.

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• (925): View more from California

  I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.

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