New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"