What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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