His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
