but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
