Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
This is my life. Enjoy the view
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
