I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
