I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Randomize
