I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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