I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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