I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
