I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Sober January is a disaster.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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