I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
