I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Are we still banned from the library?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
