Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Is her dick bigger than yours?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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