I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
