would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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