If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
there was a trapeze. enough said
im holly from the hills drunk
you didnt know i had herpes?
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and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
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The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
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