Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
