Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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