I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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