I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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