I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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