i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
