P.S. I can't hear my feet
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
