you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
