Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
