I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
