The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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