I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
