i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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