dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
