dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
