when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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