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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.

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• (623): View more from Arizona

  So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.

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• (716): View more from New York

  you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Edward fifth and chaser hands

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• (587): View more from Alberta

  Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.

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• (310): View more from California

  This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.

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• (575): View more from New Mexico

  She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (323): View more from California

  This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.

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• (718): View more from New York

  If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.

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