maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
