Texts From Last Night

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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work

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  (719): I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work http://tfl.nu/axgl
  Replies (14) Good night (3748) Bad night (950)
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  (408): View more from California

  she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room

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  (408): she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room http://tfl.nu/zqg2
  Replies (23) Good night (4971) Bad night (1000)
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  (858): View more from California

  Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?

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  (858): Why do you apologize after every time we have sex? http://tfl.nu/3g2b
  Replies (27) Good night (838) Bad night (8455)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side

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  (918): Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side http://tfl.nu/owir
  Replies (24) Good night (1456) Bad night (7819)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...

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  (908): Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty... http://tfl.nu/7ob9
  Replies (13) Good night (2837) Bad night (1330)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.

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  (607): My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good. http://tfl.nu/t7su
  Replies (7) Good night (3053) Bad night (922)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.

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  (206): Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me. http://tfl.nu/s5ld
  Replies (8) Good night (3434) Bad night (1226)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?

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  (515): Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch? http://tfl.nu/hxz0
  Replies (21) Good night (2655) Bad night (1066)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.

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  (410): It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions. http://tfl.nu/65l6
  Replies (1) Good night (1282) Bad night (508)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.

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  (517): Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now. http://tfl.nu/rvro
  Replies (4) Good night (536) Bad night (975)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'

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  (206): there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn' http://tfl.nu/cuy3
  Replies (1) Good night (560) Bad night (414)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...

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  (509): In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched... http://tfl.nu/ted8
  Replies (2) Good night (404) Bad night (300)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.

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  (828): I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared. http://tfl.nu/zkb0
  Replies (0) Good night (552) Bad night (250)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right

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  (732): watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right http://tfl.nu/79oz
  Replies (4) Good night (416) Bad night (211)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.

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  (302): Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose. http://tfl.nu/sote
  Replies (0) Good night (317) Bad night (206)

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