I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
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