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• (734): View more from Michigan

  Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.

  Fav 15 1350 2533

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• (310): View more from California

  I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.

  Fav 7 2520 821

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• (325): View more from Texas

  That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.

  Fav 21 3400 1472

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.

  Fav 19 1300 3958

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  25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.

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• (209): View more from California

  you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I have surprise drugs for everyone

  Fav 11 3082 1192

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks

  Fav 13 2305 805

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (315): View more from New York

  drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  PS my house is a mess.

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  pps I have a rash on my face.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.

  (207): View more from Maine

  What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober

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