Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants