Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection