just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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