That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
