why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
