Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
