I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
