You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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