He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
