i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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