i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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