i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
