ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
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