You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
