just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
