Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
