I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
