Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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