My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
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she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize