you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
How does one acquire holy water?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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