just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize