what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
