Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
