Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
